In 1988 I was diagnosed with MS. I was told that I had lesions in my brain and through my spin. The doctor told me to get my affairs in order and gave me a perod of 4 years before I would be brain dead and paralysed only to have my organs begin to shut down. This was devistating news and my world completely crumbled. I felt hopeless and very angry. Sucide felt like my only option.
However, I had a 2 year old daughter and could not believe that there could be a God that would give this beutiful child to me, only to let me die before her 7th birthday. I began to pray, "God let me get her till she is 18. Then, I don't care what happens to me."
Over the next 16 years I was in out of hospitals. I self administerd daily injection first Betaseron then Copxane for 12 years. I lost vision in my left eye, Optic neuritis which lasted 11 years. At no time did I come close to death over those 16 years. Though it felt like it would be a better option at times.
Then, 1 month after my daughter's 18th birthday I flat lined. I was done with life and all the pills, side effects, and so called treatments. I was sick and tired of being sick. I took all of my pills and chased them with alcohol.
Fortunately, I recovered from the overdose and spent several months in a recovery program. I learned more about a loving God and began to feel a sense of His love in my life. Over the past 5 years I have been told by doctors they can't "find anything wrong". "God has kept you around for a reason, have you figured it out yet ?" Meanwhile, I began to get sight back in my left eye about 4 years ago and I went to an eye doctor. After spending time examing my eye and the nerve he bent down and looked me in the eye and said, "You've been healed." I realize this may arouse prejudice for the non believers but for me....Well this is my story this is my song. I have a full life today. I work in the rehab center I recovered in, I am in college at 46 getting my Social Workers Degree and I attended my daughters college graduation and her wedding. These are things that MS and doctors (not all) were robbing me of ever doing. Today I live life one day at a time and I've learned to trust in God and enjoy the moment. Thank you for reading this.
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